SINGLEHOOD - A FUTURE FOR MEN!

Does getting married make a man happier, healthier, and more integrated into society? Let’s look at the relevant question bothering the ‘modern man.’

Motivation of men

Men are motivated by 3Fs: freedom, fame and fortune, and men who prefer to stay single are ruled by the first of these three Fs; freedom. It doesn’t in any way mean that for single men the other two, fame and fortune, are not important. Actually, they are very important, but the only difference is that single men lean mostly towards ‘self’ freedom. A single man would rather stay single than have a woman strap him down, because he loves his freedom and his independence more than any other thing. One thing which is vital for society to understand is that for a man to be single ‘isn’t selfish,’ it is just giving priority to his needs. 

What studies talk about?

The studies that support the claim that married men are doing better are biased because they want to make the married man look better and portray the single man’s life as worse. What these studies fail to highlight is that, sometimes it is the lifelong single, rather than the currently married, which are doing best. In other studies, it is the single that is the healthiest. Then there are studies which highlight previous single getting married, and staying married – they end up no happier than they were when they were single. In other words – getting married is no sure way to happiness and health. 

Stigma attached to single man

Unfortunately, single man’s life continues to be stigmatized, with single man stereotyped as less secure and more self centered than married man. Society normally labels single men as, ‘they will die sooner, alone and sad.’ There is also a notion that among society which assume single men to be unsociable, unattractive, or immature. These thinking are way of the mark because in reality many single men are charismatic and responsible.

Widespread singlehood

The number one reason why the modern men prefer to remain single is that – these men have difficulty flirting or are unable to impress the opposite sex, because most men are not even taught how to attract, date and maintain relationships with others. On top of that we live in a society that tends to have an expectation that ‘if you are an awesome enough person, things should fall into place.’ Nothing is more wrong and farther from the truth; either in life or for that matter in case of love. In the time gone by marriage were strictly arranged, which in a respect left men with little choice about who would be their wives, it also meant that their looks were irrelevant and they did not need to know how to attract women, all that was needed of them was to have the know-how of earning money to run the house. Sometimes single men’s work takes first priority, and they happily distribute much of their time to it; this leaves no time for a relationship. A man remain single because he is detailed oriented and tend to look at every little detail of a person through his perspective, and may analyze everything, thus if something makes him feel suspicious about someone, he won’t give the other person a chance anymore, that is why intelligent single men always weighs the pros and cons of why they should fall in love with another person, especially if they can be just fine by themselves. One more reason is that many single men don’t like any drama in their lives; most women love to create drama, so single men who love to be more productive, think of having a relationship as a hindrance in their life and in their success. Another reason is the fear of marriage; single men see marriage as a risk: emotional, financial and psychological.       

Singlehood is a good 

The rise in number of single men has left some in panic, but wait that is not the whole story; actually the percentage of single men is more than married men who are known for encouraging, helping and socializing with friends and neighbors. They are also more likely to visit, support, advice and stay in touch with their siblings and parents. Married men often put their spouse and kids at the centre of their lives; this behavior is perfectly fine and is also expected of them. On the other hand, single men are expanding the traditional boundaries of family. They are keeping their families, and are also putting their friends, ex-partners and mentors in their circle of family. Some men may even have committed romantic relationship, but chose to live in a place of their own. These individuals might move into their own apartment, where their friends and family are also living. They may buy a duplex with a close friend or explore co-housing communities or pocket neighborhood; which are communities of small houses clustered around shared space such as courtyard or garden. Single men are free to do what they want without having to consider a spouse’s desire; they enjoy more autonomy of their own life. Another benefit is that single men are not locked into family responsibility and obligation; they consequently can be more mobile and flexible in the climb up the career ladder. Single men tend to participate in more civic group and public events, enroll in more art and music and other self improvement classes. Single men are constantly on the lookout of finding and creating new variety of different life spaces. These examples should be a call for rejoicing, rather than doom and gloom.

Usher a new beginning

As the potential for living a full and meaningful single life for man becomes more widely known, then living single will become more of a genuine choice. And when living single is a real choice then the modern man will chose life that suits him, rather than the one that is prescribed by society.